


Hand in Hand

by MortisBane



Category: Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: College AU, Day Five, M/M, Past Character Death, Prompt: Trick or Treat, References to Bram Stoker's Dracula, Thrantober, Thrass mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 06:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21248633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MortisBane/pseuds/MortisBane
Summary: “Thrass, can we go trick or treat?”“Of course Thrawn.”“Thrass, can we trick or treat?”“Of course, give me a few minutes Thrawn.”“Thrass, can we go trick or treating?”“...Maybe in a little bit Thrawn, I have an appointment to make.”“Thrass, can we go-?”“I’m sorry Thrawn, not this year, doctor says I shouldn’t walk for very long.”“Thrass?”“...”





	Hand in Hand

_ “Thrass, can we go trick or treat?” _

_ “Of course Thrawn.” _

_ “Thrass, can we trick or treat?” _

_ “Of course, give me a few minutes Thrawn.” _

_ “Thrass, can we go out?” _

_ “...Maybe in a little bit Thrawn, I have an appointment to make.” _

_ “Thrass, can we go-?” _

_ “I’m sorry Thrawn, not this year, doctor says I shouldn’t walk for very long.” _

_ “Thrass?” _

_ “...” _

“What?!” Eli exclaimed, standing up from their study table. Thrawn gazed up at him from his chair. “The last time you went Trick or Treating was when you were seven?!” Thrawn closed his textbook, knowing no more work would be getting done today.

“That is what I said, yes. Is that a problem?” He answered, which only served for Eli to scoff and roll his eyes.

“Of course it’s a problem! I didn’t stop trick or treating until senior year of highschool, and only because I was working!”

Eli always gave off an air of eternal youth, enjoying things not quite for his age range and getting over excited about simple things. Thrawn had to admit it was adorable watching him get exuberant over a new cartoon or foreign show, him having an affinity for trick or treating really wasn’t a surprise to him. The fact that Eli was a supply chain management major did surprise him however, other than the man’s adeptness with math and inventory, it seemed far too grown up and boring for him. Then again, Eli always asked what he was going to do with an art history degree, so maybe it came down to the job availability.

“Perhaps that was too late to be going out in costume and asking for free sweets. Is the holiday not for young children?”

“Hey, if I’m in costume they have to give me candy.” He leaned across the table getting into Thrawn’s face. He held the gaze, staring Eli down until the Human’s face broke, giggles bubbling out of his mouth. “You know I can’t handle your serious face!” He took up seat in the chair next to Thrawn instead of across like he had been.

“It works so well however. You are much more manipulable when you’re laughing.” He said as he opened up his textbook once again. Eli gave him a nudge with his shoulder.

“Hey!” He took up his own book, leaning heavily into Thrawn now. “I’m taking you trick or treating this year.”

“Pardon?” He snapped the book shut with a loud thump and turned to the brown skinned man. Eli gave him a sly grin.

“You heard me, we’re going trick or treating, start thinking up costume ideas.”

“Eli, we are in college. We cannot go trick or treating.”

“All you need is a costume and the Halloween spirit, I’m not taking no for an answer. Do it as a favor to me.” He turned his big brown eyes on him, batting his lashes like a sex crazed woman trying to play innocent. Which, all things considered, shouldn’t have worked on Thrawn, but it was Eli. Thrawn has had a soft spot for Eli ever since meeting him freshman year in that chance encounter.

He’s admitted to himself, in the safe recesses of his mind, that his soft spot for Eli was truly something more. Something he had yet to put a name to and dared not try. What he had with Eli, it was comfortable, enjoyable, he didn’t need to take the chance of ruining it by bringing unclear emotions into their dynamic. For now, he could just enjoy Eli leaning against his arm and making sweet eyes at him in order to get his way. Because he always did.

“Very well.” He sighed, Eli’s entire face lighting up at the agreement. He should know by now that he couldn’t say no to him.

“Yes! Let’s go to the costume shop after class today, there’s plenty of them all around town, ‘tis the season.” Thrawn gave him a raised brow.

“Eli-”

“Thrawn, can we go to the costume shop?” He knew what he was supposed to say to that, discourage Eli, they had work to do, projects and assignments.

“Of course Eli.” Is what he ended up saying, the words coming from him naturally, pulling at his heart on their way out.

Eli grinned, and dove back into his book, practically radiating excitement. If Eli were a lesser man, he might try and use his influence over Thrawn to manipulate him, like some of the people he’s met at this university. But Eli wasn’t a lesser man, and because of his warm innocent nature, coupled with his bursting intelligence, he had that influence over him. He’ll take Eli convincing him to take part in old childish traditions over someone trying to get him to complete their assignments for them. Eli leaned back against Thrawn’s arm as he read over his textbook, and Thrawn simply smiled, relishing the warmth.

Costume shopping was a nightmare. Spending an afternoon looking through racks and racks of outfits he would never dare to wear in public set into perspective exactly what he’d agreed to. Eli had no problems running around, inspecting each of the costumes, most of which were humerus or extremely suggestive. Eli laughed for almost three minutes upon finding a couple costume of a plug and a socket. Thrawn just turned and inspected the nearest rack.

It had to of been almost two hours of animal costumes, sexy versions of professions, and cheesy couple costumes, and still nothing he’d willingly wear. Thrawn was starting to think this was all worthless, a waste of time and money. The whole ordeal, going out for three hours on a Thursday night to acquire candy they could just as easily purchase in a store in larger quantities. But Eli would run up to him, another costume in his arms, face lit up with a wide grin and sparkling eyes, and those thoughts would be forgotten. Nothing for Eli was a waste.

However, as he wandered around the store, he found himself in the children’s section somehow. Staring at the racks of tiny outfits that were far more kid friendly than what he and Eli had been seeing. He trailed his hands over the princess dresses, the superhero suits, police and fireman uniforms, and he felt something gnawing at his insides. A nagging at the back of his head, of memories long past. Ones better off left forgotten.

Small hands clasped together, long walks in the night surrounded by other small hands grabbing for sweets. Side by side silhouettes that over the years grew farther and farther apart. The larger of the two slowing down more and more until he stopped, and the smaller one turned only to find it gone. Small hands with no companion to hold, long walks over, a house empty, a heart halved.

Warm brown hands found his arm, pulling him from his dark thoughts, his aching memories, and turning, he found Eli, smile wide, eyes glimmering, and arms open. He had already begun talking, and Thrawn, too embarrassed to admit he’d not been paying attention, only smiled and turned to face him. A costume was draped over his arm, something long and black, with hints of red underneath.

“That’s why I think this one is perfect for you!” He finished, holding out the fabric for Thrawn to take. He held it up, looking over what he came to realize was a cape, one long enough to touch the floor even on his tall stature, the inside red, with a collar that pointed up reaching over his ears.

“A vampire’s cape.” He turned it around and back again.

“Something simple, subtle, and not completely childish, like you keep saying about most of the costumes.” He had a point, a black cape, that almost covered enough to be more of a cloak, was the most refined of all the choices. Simple formal clothing underneath and he would fit the part well without having to make a fool of himself.

“You may be right. Very well then, this will do. Now what of your own costume?” Eli looked away sheepishly, not meeting Thrawn’s eyes, a soft chuckle going past his lips.

“Yeah, right, my costume...”

“Did you spend the entire time looking for something for me to wear?” Eli’s silence answered that question. Thrawn couldn’t help but smile, Eli’s actions were always so endearing, even when they were mere accidents.

“Maybe, maybe not.” He finally answered, trying to look confident, but Thrawn saw right through it.

“That does not work when I know that I am right. I think I may have an idea however.” Eli’s borderline pout dissipated and his jovial smile returned.

“Really? What is it?”

“Have you ever read Bram Stoker’s Dracula?”

In the end, it took only twenty more minutes to get all of Eli’s own costumes together, and they, thankfully could call the trip a success and leave. Not only had the long time in the store felt a bit like a wasted day, but the imagery was starting to get to him, if that internal trance was anything to go off of. He had thought that after so many years he had come to terms with what had happened and moved on. Apparently not.

It had been fifteen years and yet the pain lingered just as fresh as when it had started. Part of him worried that he couldn’t do it. If he had such a reaction just by looking at costumes for children, what would happen when the dreaded night actually came. But no, he couldn’t back down, to do so would be to admit defeat, admit that he was weak and couldn’t handle his pain. That’s not how his family was, it’s not what Thrass would want.

The days moved on, classes continued, tests were had, exams passed, studies consuming all time until the thought of Halloween was just a small itch at the back of his mind. Only Eli’s excited ranting day by day kept the event relevant in his mind. October thirty first, the last day of the month, the night where children don their costumes and beg for candy. Somehow, looking at Eli, that didn’t seem to fit the night very well at all. To him, Halloween seemed to be a day to be free, enjoy the weather, the community, a night of fun and friendship. If that’s how he saw it, then Thrawn could make an effort to see it the same way.

Before he even realized, the week was before them. Dorms and walls around campus had adorned themselves with festive decorations, pumpkins, and crude ghosts and ghouls splattering the walls, fake spider webbing draped over seemingly ever surface they could find. Even if he had wished to, there would be no escaping the reminder of this holiday. No escaping the rising memories of the last time he’d ever partake in the festivities. He knew on the outside, he showed nothing more than perhaps mild disdain for the over abundance of decorations, but on the inside he was filled with a storm cloud of feelings he wished nothing more than to bury deep inside.

“Something’s wrong.” Eli spoke into his thoughts, pulling him from the book he was meant to be reading, but had only been staring at the same page for what had to be at least five minutes. This was getting to him even more than he noticed it seemed.

“I am fine.” He answered, not daring to look up at Eli, knowing full well the man’s begging eyes would make a torture veteran crack.

“Don’t lie to me Thrawn. You haven’t turned a page in five minutes, you’re just staring at nothing. Something is bothering you.”

“Things do not bother me Eli, they get in the way of my studies-” The book in his hands was pushed to the table and Thrawn had to look up at Eli.

“It’s about Halloween, isn’t it?” He didn’t answer and Eli sighed. “Knew it.”

“Eli-”

“You don’t have to go along with the things I say, I know I beg and prod but...if something really bothers you, then I want you to say something. I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to do.” He looked away dejected.

Thrawn’s heart clenched in his chest. He never wanted to discourage Eli, not under any circumstances. He bloomed better when his mind was sharp and his mood bright. When he was put down, it was like the entire world darkened. Unlike people Thrawn knew, Eli wasn’t acting hurt to force Thrawn to double down on his wishes, this was his raw emotion, something he had trouble concealing, no matter how hard he tried, and he was trying.

“I’ll pay you back for your costume, we don’t have to go out.” he turned back to Thrawn, a smile plastering his face, but it lacked all the light and warmth Thrawn had come to associate with it. “Maybe we could just stay in and study, I have exams the week after anyway and-”

“No.” Eli flinched, meeting Thrawn’s eyes directly and stopped speaking. “We will still go. I wish to go with you.” He leaned forward, hoping that the other man could understand his sincerity better. “I have my problems around the holiday, none of which lie with you. I want to go, for you, and for me. Please, do not think I do not want this because of my…” he paused, thinking of the best word to describe how he’d been acting lately, “because of the ‘funk’ I have been in.” He caught a small smile on Eli, having recognized the word he had to explain to him a few months prior.

“You positive?” He asked cautiously.

“Absolutely. I propose that after, we even attend Ms. Pryce’s party that night.” Eli snorted a laugh, bringing his hand to try and conceal it.

“Isn’t she the political science major who always tries to get you to do her history homework for her?”

“Yes, but I hear that Karyn Faro will be in attendance, so I believe there will be friendlier company.” That was true, but his main reason for suggesting the party was to show Eli how dedicated he was to trying to enjoy the night, the fact that Karyn would be there only made the convincing easier.

“Alright, then deal.” They shared a smile, and Thrawn moved to pick up his book once more. “You know, you can talk to me right? About whatever is bothering you.” Thrawn’s smile turned a bit sad and he looked down.

“Yes I know. Perhaps someday I will, but today is not that day.” Eli’s eyes lingered on him a few seconds longer, but when it was clear he wasn’t going to elaborate, he dropped the subject and returned to his own studying. Though, Thrawn noticed he’d moved slightly closer, so that their arms touched, a subtle reassurance. Thrawn appreciated it.

The last few days leading to the dreaded night went by relatively smoothly. Eli’s excitement had died down, but it was still very evident. All of his rants and exclamations paled in comparison to the jittery mess of excitement when the night in question was finally upon them. Through their two shared classes, he could see Eli’s attention and focus directed to the clock, whatever lectures that went on today were lost on him. Thrawn made sure to make a separate copy of his notes to give him later. After their final class for the day, they came together and went to Thrawn’s house to get ready.

“I think I make a pretty good Jonathan Harker.” Eli proclaimed, turning around in the mirror. They had gotten him clothes very reminiscent of formal wear from the late 1800’s, which on its own didn’t scream a character in particular, but hopefully coupled with Thrawn’s blatant Count Dracula get up, would have people realizing the parallel.

“I agree.” Thrawn spoke having to tear his lingering eyes from Eli’s fitting suit and neatly combed hair.

“You know, I started reading Dracula because of this,” he began again, applying two red dots to his neck to resemble fang bites, “and Dracula hasn’t even actually bitten Jonathan.” Thrawn smiled and nodded, trying to situate the cheap fake fangs they had acquired so they were the most comfortable in his mouth, which, he was beginning to realize, was a lost cause.

“Yes, however, I did not think you’d want to dress as Lucy or Mina.” He said. Eli chuckled, giving himself a final look in the mirror before stepping away.

“You might be right, but I’d look great in a dress!”

“Yes you would.” Thrawn smiled to himself, and as he caught Eli’s eye, he noticed a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“Are you ready?” Eli asked with a cough and turned his head.

“Yes.” Thrawn nodded.

“Then let’s get a move on.”

It was nearly seven, the official town event having started at six thirty, so the streets were already packed full of children of many ranging sizes and costumes. Out the door, Thrawn froze, the familiar sight striking a corde deep within him, hardly noticing as Eli closed up behind him. The shorter man gave him a smile, which faltered upon seeing Thrawn’s slight aversion. He didn’t ask, didn’t suggest they turn back, didn’t even acknowledge the look. Instead, he took Thrawn’s hand in his, and began down the street.

The warmth, a hand in his own, acted like an anchor. While it reminded him of smaller hands, seeing Eli’s in his larger one, it gave him a new feeling. He couldn’t forget the past, but he couldn’t let it stop the future. He held Eli’s hand back firmly and together, they fell in line with the kids.

It was a bit more encouraging to see older children, teens, and young adults, all who made them not stick out nearly as much. He had to admit, it was nice. Though, it was still awkward to get up to a door as small children were leaving and say the same line for the same reward, but Eli always put an interesting twist on it, or would talk up whoever answered the door. It felt a bit more of age that way, and Thrawn felt his tense shoulders relaxing more and more through the night.

At one point, they’d come across one of the unattended bowls with a sign saying ‘Take Only One Please’, and they’d come by just as a pack of young children had each taken large handfuls, stuffing them greedily into their decorated bags. Thrawn was prepared to leave the bowl all together, let the children slink away with their prizes, but Eli’s sense of justice seemed to overtake him.

“Hey, what do y’all think you’re doing?” He called, making the kids flinch and turn around. Eli placed his hands on his hips, looking far too parently than he should have at twenty one. Unfortunately, Children among their peers are a dangerous lot.

“You’re not our dad, leave us alone!” One kid called back, holding his bag close to his chest.

“The sign says take only one, and unless you haven’t been taught to count yet, that’s far more than just one.” Thrawn stood back, letting Eli take care of the situation like the apparent candy vigilante he was.

“Maybe we don’t!” One kid rebutted only to be shoved by one of his friends.

“Stupid, he was calling us stupid!” His friend shouted.

“So did you!”

“Put it back.” Eli interrupted their bickering. “Or else.” He added darkly when they didn’t seem to care.

“Or else what, you can’t do anything to us!” The first kid shot back, apparently the ring leader.

“I can’t you’re right, but he can.” Eli gestured to Thrawn, and all the kids looked at him.

“What’s he gonna do?”

“Oh nothin’, just suck your blood.” The kids were silent a moment before breaking our in laughter.

“Vampire’s aren’t real idiot!”

“We know the difference, he’s just in costume!”

“Count.” Eli spoke, motioning him closer. Thrawn knew what game Eli was playing, he might as well go along with it. He strode closer, moving as smoothly as possible, his cape billowing behind him. He trained his eyes on the children, towering over them.

“Yes Sir Jonathan.” He spoke, making sure to never take his eyes of the children, and slipping back into his accent he had as a child before he had practiced to change it.

“Are you hungry?”

“Very.” He whispered, bowing his head. The group of boys were silent, but he could see his stature had them intimidated. In the past, he’d been told that, in the right lighting, his eyes seemed almost red, he could assume that they were so now.

“Care for a treat?”

“Yes.” He smiled, just enough to show the fangs in his mouth, and took exactly one step closer. The kid in the far back moved first. He took a handful from his bag, throwing it into the bowl and ran to the next house. His friends called after him but he didn’t turn back.

“Shame, I guess instead of just some taste, draining them both will feed you right?” Thrawn nodded at Eli’s words. Another step, and the second child was digging through his bag, pulling out a handful and just barely depositing it in the bowl before he ran off after his friend. They were down to one.

“Any last words?” Eli asked him as Thrawn took another step closer. The boy looked between the two of them, eyes wide.

“S-Screw you!” He screamed, following after his friends by throwing back in a handful and running. Eli waited all of thirty seconds before he burst out laughing. Thrawn smiled, feeling both embarrassed for playing pretend but also finding the situation entertaining. Halloween was about scaring children anyway, they were simply being festive.

Eli fell into Thrawn’s side as he laughed, and Thrawn couldn’t ignore the bloom of heat that shot up his arm. Eli wiped at his eyes, grabbing Thrawn’s arm with one of his, the other wrapped around his gut as he laughed.

“That,” he laughed, “was priceless!”

“Yes, good job protecting the candy from children invaders.” Thrawn commented, fighting the urge to gather Eli up in his arms and feel that rumbling laughter against his chest. Eli pushed himself away, Thrawn’s side instantly cold without him, and plucked one candy from the bowl. He placed it in his own bag with a pleased nod.

“All in a day's work, not so bad yourself,  _ Count _ .” Thrawn smiled, retrieving his own piece.

“Thank you  _ Sir Jonathan _ .”

They continued on their walk, the moon shining through the slim clouds, the streets alight with decorations and small bonfires, the breeze crisp yet not too cold, and a bright eyed man at his side holding his hand. All the growing anxieties surrounding this night melted into white noise, almost forgotten so long as Eli continued to smile at him.

Eventually, it began to run down, porch lights were turned off, the children retreating with their treasure, bowls empty, and the night growing quiet. After getting the last of a family’s candy before they closed their door, it was time to call it a night. They each had decent hoards of candy, though Thrawn was nowhere near as excited to consume so much sugar as Eli was. They’d moved on from the residential houses, moving to a local park, sitting down on a bench overlooking the town.

From here they could see campus, the towering dorms, the numerous classrooms, the center, and all the houses and businesses that splintered off from it. While the University was hardly the center of town, from this perspective it looked like it. The lights alone enough to give off that impression, like a spider web, the streets and lights connected in that pattern.

Beside him, Eli had already started digging into his candy stash, munching on something crunchy and chocolaty. He had no interest in overloading his system with sugar and simply set his bag to the side, already deciding to give most of it to Eli in the end. Thrawn felt him lean into his arm, and he relaxed, relishing the warmth.

“So, what do you think of your first time trick or treating in like, fifteen years?” Eli asked, glancing up at Thrawn. He removed his fake fangs, setting them on the bench and rubbing his sore gums with his tongue.

“It was enjoyable.” He spoke truthfully, because it had been, though almost all of that had to do with the fact he was out there with Eli.

“That’s good.” Eli sighed, resting his head against his shoulder. Thrawn knew he wanted to ask, wanted to be told why Trick or Treating had been a sore spot for him, but he wasn’t going to. He wanted to let Thrawn tell him in his own time, he was being considerate, as he always was.

“Fifteen years ago.” Thrawn spoke, feeling Eli tense beside him. “Was the first time I went out on Halloween on my own. Every year before, my older brother would accompany me. He had become ill and was bedridden, and could not go with me. So I went on my own. I made it to the end of the street before I returned home, it wasn’t the same, I enjoyed the night with my brother more than the candy or the costumes.” Eli shifted back to look at Thrawn better, but put a hand over his, reminding him that he was there.

“When I returned, my aunt and uncle were frantic, Thrass had gotten worse suddenly and was unconscious. He was admitted to the hospital, and passed a week later. Without him, I never bothered going out again, until now.” He continued staring out at the city as he spoke, taking deep breaths to remain calm and focused on the feeling of Eli’s hand on his.

“Oh Thrawn.” Eli started. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I shouldn’t have forced you to go out, I-”

“Eli, no.” He interrupted. “I enjoyed myself, I did. Thrass wouldn’t want me to be so consumed by my emotions and hold myself back, this was a good way to...face the holiday again.” Eli’s face reflected a mix between sympathy and pride.

“Then, I’m glad to have been there to help you. You don’t have to keep things to yourself, I won't judge you for feeling emotions.” It was said as a joke, an attempt to lighten the mood, but he didn’t realize how important those words were for Thrawn to hear. In his youth, he’d struggled, with his feelings and the pressure of his family to keep them to himself. As he aged, it became far too easy to keep his feelings inside and show none of them to anyone else, it stinted his ability to make long term meaningful friends, up until he’d met Eli, who saw past his impassiveness and truly cared enough to know him. And here he was, that beautiful, intelligent man still doing just that, and it made Thrawn want more than he ever had before.

“May I...take a treat?” He asked, turning to fully look at Eli, their faces inches apart. Eli’s cheeks heated at their closeness, but he didn’t pull away.

“Y-Yes, whatever you want.” Eli answered, wetting his lips, seemingly subconsciously.

Thrawn smiled, and leaned in slowly, bit by bit so there was no confusion as to his goal. And when their lips met, it felt like everything he thought it would feel like. Chapped lips, slightly dry from the weather as it grew colder, uncertainty, light touches that slowly melted into further confidence, harsher presses, and equal enthusiasm.

“Let me take you out.” Eli panted when they parted, though he shouldn’t be out of breath, Thrawn could practically hear Eli’s hammering heartbeat.

“You already have this night.” Thrawn answered, leaning in and placing a peck to Eli’s lips, then another.

“Let me take you out again.”

“Very well.” They smiled, and this time, Eli closed the distance between them.

After fifteen years, maybe he could come to enjoy Halloween again.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween! Final Prompt of Thrantober, kinda sad but with a happy ending! I'm so happy to see the support and enjoyment of the sorta impromptu event me and ZsforSs put on. Maybe next year we'll make prompts for the whole month, or just a week, depends. Though I think the name might change to Thrantoween if we bring it back, it rings better.  
Anyway, thank you for reading and enjoying, and please enjoy a very spooky Halloween! <3
> 
> Stay Wizard  
~[Mortis](https://mortisbane.tumblr.com/)


End file.
